How to Send Funeral Flowers: A Guide to Expressing Sympathy and Support

Sending funeral flowers is a timeless tradition that allows us to express our condolences and support to those who are grieving. Whether you are a close friend, a family member, or a colleague, the act of sending flowers can convey a deep sense of empathy and care. However, the process of choosing and sending funeral flowers can be overwhelming, especially during a time of loss. This guide will walk you through the steps of how to send funeral flowers, offering practical advice and thoughtful considerations to help you navigate this delicate task.
1. Understanding the Significance of Funeral Flowers
Funeral flowers have been used for centuries as a way to honor the deceased and provide comfort to the bereaved. They serve as a visual representation of love, respect, and sympathy. Different cultures and religions have varying traditions regarding funeral flowers, so it’s important to be mindful of these customs when making your selection.
1.1. The Symbolism of Flowers
Each type of flower carries its own unique symbolism, which can add a deeper layer of meaning to your gesture. For example:
- Lilies: Often associated with the restoration of innocence to the soul of the deceased, lilies are a common choice for funeral arrangements.
- Roses: Red roses symbolize love and respect, while white roses represent purity and innocence.
- Carnations: These flowers are often used in funeral wreaths and sprays, with red carnations symbolizing admiration and white carnations representing pure love and innocence.
- Chrysanthemums: In many European countries, chrysanthemums are exclusively used for funerals and symbolize death and mourning.
1.2. Cultural and Religious Considerations
Different cultures and religions have specific traditions and preferences when it comes to funeral flowers. For example:
- Christian Funerals: Flowers are generally accepted and appreciated, with arrangements often placed near the casket or altar.
- Jewish Funerals: In Jewish tradition, it is customary to send flowers to the family’s home rather than to the funeral service itself. However, some Jewish families may prefer donations to charity in lieu of flowers.
- Islamic Funerals: Flowers are not typically used in Islamic funerals, as the focus is on simplicity and modesty. Instead, consider sending a sympathy card or making a donation to a charity in the deceased’s name.
- Asian Funerals: In many Asian cultures, white flowers are associated with death and mourning, while red flowers are considered inappropriate for funerals.
2. Choosing the Right Type of Funeral Flowers
When selecting funeral flowers, it’s important to consider the relationship you had with the deceased and the preferences of the bereaved family. Here are some common types of funeral flower arrangements and their appropriate uses:
2.1. Funeral Wreaths
Funeral wreaths are circular arrangements that symbolize eternal life and are often placed near the casket or at the gravesite. They can be made from a variety of flowers and greenery, and may include a ribbon with a personalized message.
2.2. Standing Sprays
Standing sprays are large, vertical arrangements that are typically displayed on an easel. They are often sent by close family members or organizations and are placed near the casket during the funeral service.
2.3. Casket Sprays
Casket sprays are large arrangements that are placed directly on top of the casket. They are usually ordered by the immediate family and can be customized to reflect the personality and preferences of the deceased.
2.4. Bouquets and Vase Arrangements
Smaller bouquets and vase arrangements are suitable for sending to the family’s home or to the funeral service. They can be placed on tables or other surfaces and are a thoughtful way to express your sympathy.
2.5. Sympathy Plants
Sympathy plants, such as peace lilies or orchids, are a lasting tribute that can be kept by the family after the funeral. They are a meaningful alternative to traditional flower arrangements and can provide comfort in the weeks and months following the loss.
3. Personalizing Your Funeral Flower Arrangement
Adding a personal touch to your funeral flower arrangement can make it even more meaningful. Here are some ways to personalize your gesture:
3.1. Including a Personalized Message
Most florists offer the option to include a personalized message with your flower arrangement. This can be a simple expression of sympathy, a favorite quote, or a memory of the deceased. Be sure to keep your message brief and heartfelt.
3.2. Choosing Flowers with Special Meaning
If you know the deceased’s favorite flowers or colors, consider incorporating them into your arrangement. This can be a touching way to honor their memory and show that you are thinking of them.
3.3. Adding a Keepsake
Some florists offer the option to include a small keepsake, such as a photo frame or a memorial candle, with your flower arrangement. This can provide the family with a lasting memento of your support.
4. Ordering and Sending Funeral Flowers
Once you have chosen the type of arrangement and personalized it to your liking, the next step is to place your order and arrange for delivery. Here are some tips to ensure that your flowers arrive on time and in good condition:
4.1. Choosing a Reputable Florist
It’s important to choose a florist with experience in handling funeral arrangements. Look for a florist with positive reviews and a good reputation in your community. You can also ask for recommendations from friends or family members who have recently sent funeral flowers.
4.2. Placing Your Order in Advance
Funeral flowers should be ordered as soon as possible after you learn of the death. This will give the florist enough time to create the arrangement and ensure that it is delivered on time. Be sure to provide the florist with the correct date, time, and location of the funeral service.
4.3. Providing Delivery Instructions
When placing your order, be sure to provide clear delivery instructions, including the name of the funeral home or the family’s home address. If you are sending flowers to the funeral service, specify whether they should be delivered to the viewing, the service, or the graveside.
4.4. Considering the Family’s Wishes
In some cases, the family may request that donations be made to a charity in lieu of flowers. If this is the case, it’s important to respect their wishes and make a donation instead of sending flowers. You can still send a sympathy card to express your condolences.
5. Etiquette for Sending Funeral Flowers
Sending funeral flowers is a thoughtful gesture, but it’s important to follow proper etiquette to ensure that your gesture is well-received. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind:
5.1. Timing
Funeral flowers should be sent as soon as possible after you learn of the death. Ideally, they should arrive before the funeral service so that they can be displayed during the service. If you are unable to send flowers in time, you can still send a sympathy card or make a donation to a charity in the deceased’s name.
5.2. Addressing the Arrangement
When sending funeral flowers, be sure to include a card with your name and a brief message of sympathy. If you are sending flowers on behalf of a group or organization, include the name of the group on the card.
5.3. Respecting Cultural and Religious Traditions
As mentioned earlier, different cultures and religions have varying traditions regarding funeral flowers. Be sure to research and respect these customs when choosing and sending your arrangement.
5.4. Following Up with the Family
After the funeral, consider following up with the family to offer your continued support. This could be in the form of a phone call, a visit, or a handwritten note. Your ongoing presence and care can provide much-needed comfort during a difficult time.
6. Alternative Ways to Express Sympathy
While sending funeral flowers is a traditional and meaningful way to express your condolences, there are other ways to show your support to the bereaved family. Here are some alternative gestures to consider:
6.1. Sending a Sympathy Card
A handwritten sympathy card can be a deeply personal way to express your condolences. Take the time to write a heartfelt message, sharing your memories of the deceased and offering your support to the family.
6.2. Making a Donation
In lieu of flowers, many families request that donations be made to a charity in the deceased’s name. This can be a meaningful way to honor their memory and support a cause that was important to them.
6.3. Offering Practical Help
During a time of loss, the bereaved family may be overwhelmed with the practicalities of planning a funeral and managing their daily lives. Offering to help with tasks such as cooking, cleaning, or running errands can provide much-needed relief.
6.4. Attending the Funeral or Memorial Service
If possible, attending the funeral or memorial service is a powerful way to show your support and pay your respects to the deceased. Your presence can provide comfort to the family and demonstrate the impact that the deceased had on your life.
7. Conclusion
Sending funeral flowers is a meaningful way to express your sympathy and support to those who are grieving. By understanding the significance of funeral flowers, choosing the right type of arrangement, and following proper etiquette, you can ensure that your gesture is both thoughtful and appropriate. Whether you choose to send flowers, a sympathy card, or make a donation, your kindness and compassion will be deeply appreciated by the bereaved family.
Related Q&A
Q: Can I send funeral flowers to the family’s home instead of the funeral service?
A: Yes, sending flowers to the family’s home is a thoughtful gesture, especially if you are unable to attend the funeral service. It allows the family to receive your condolences in a more private setting.
Q: What should I write in the sympathy card that accompanies the flowers?
A: Your message should be brief and heartfelt. You can express your condolences, share a memory of the deceased, or simply let the family know that you are thinking of them during this difficult time.
Q: Are there any flowers that are considered inappropriate for a funeral?
A: While most flowers are appropriate for funerals, it’s important to be mindful of cultural and religious traditions. For example, in some Asian cultures, red flowers are associated with celebrations and may be considered inappropriate for a funeral.
Q: How much should I spend on funeral flowers?
A: The amount you spend on funeral flowers is a personal decision and should be based on your relationship with the deceased and your budget. A simple bouquet or vase arrangement can be just as meaningful as a larger, more elaborate arrangement.
Q: Can I send funeral flowers if I am unable to attend the service?
A: Absolutely. Sending funeral flowers is a thoughtful way to express your condolences, even if you are unable to attend the service. Your gesture will be appreciated by the family, and it shows that you are thinking of them during this difficult time.